On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
