the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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