Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
