found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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