Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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