The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
third nipple confirmed
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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