I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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