He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
