R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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