i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
