Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
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I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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