drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
