remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
