I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
