I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
