i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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