he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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