Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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