I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
