remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
