can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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