Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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