i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
