did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
