We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
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somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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