Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
