No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He? As in you personified your dick?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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