Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
