This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
