I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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