why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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