Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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