can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
