You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
