While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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