i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
