there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
