Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize