too bad you live with your parents still
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
