btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize