eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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