I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
