Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
