the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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