oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Brb crying the tears of my youth
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
