No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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