I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
