Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
