Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
