you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
