Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
