you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
