Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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