Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
