Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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