I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize