remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
