in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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