checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
