Porn is love you can see.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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