I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
