I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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