On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
