those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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