I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
