My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
