At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
